I haven't actually written a word for about a month and that just proves what a shit show cinema releases have been lately, that is until last night, when Guy Ritchie pilfered the air from my lungs and made me cry.
I don't even know where to start with this. I really don't.
King Arthur: Legend of The Sword, is a 2017 Fantasy film written and directed by our beloved Guy Ritchie, starring Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana, Djimon Honsou and everyone else Guy Ritchie has ever come into contact with.
Everyone who's anyone knows the story of King Arthur and his knights of the round table but does everyone remember what a magical story it really is? (See 'The Sword in The Stone') With wizards and magic and mythical creatures? This film really draws on the origin story and delivers on the magic and myth in a dark and mesmerising way that will have you open mouthed on the edge of your seat.
Principal photography actually took place about 2 years ago! That's how long we have been waiting for this bloody film and thank fuck its not a disappointment.
On that note, I think I will just get my critically minded, bullshit, whiney complaints out of the way first, so I can get to the unashamed gushing about this truly fucking outstanding film.
I can, with my critics head on, see what those miserable bastards at Variety and Rolling Stone are saying when they are ripping this mind blower to shreds, but I couldn't give less of a shit. I Loved it. Like, wanted to watch it again the second it finished, loved it.
Yes, I winced a few times at certain things and Charlie Hunnam's accent, as usual, was bordering on appalling BUT the poor man doesn't even know what his own accent is anymore, lets face it, and everyone else pretty much used their own, no matter where they came from, so whatever, who cares.
At first, it was hard to see the typical Guy Ritchie style, of every aspect of film making, in such an unusual time period but I got over it within minutes. I think our 'Lock Stock' and 'Snatch' infested brains just need that little bit of time to adjust but once you do, you will be enthralled. Completely.
It does go a teeny bit 'Masters of the Universe' on us towards the end but then what film hasn't lately??? I think that may be why we are getting the remake no one asked for.
I refuse to pull on that thread any longer because at a certain point I'm just ruining things for myself and that's stupid.
To put this into some sort of emotional context, my heart was in my throat by the time it finished and I had tears in eyes.
It is visually so beautiful that I could wallpaper my entire house with images from this movie and I probably will.
We all know Guy Ritchie can make the shit out of a film, 'Lock Stock' and 'Snatch' are legendary, he stepped it up a notch with 'Rock N Rolla' (slowdown tinkerbell), took the absolute piss with 'Revolver' which was so overindulgent and full of riddles, it physically hurt me and we saw what he could do with a bigger budget when he blessed us with 'Sherlock Holmes' and 'Man from U.N.C.L.E' but 'King Arthur' is on another level entirely, its just magnificent.
It's seamlessly edited, which is no easy feat with GR's quickfire style of dialogue delivery and incessant use of cut away story telling, but it isn't jarring at all, its all over the bloody place but certainly not to its detriment, it just makes your eyes open wider and your heart beat faster.
The entire film stinks of Guy Ritchie and that's what makes it stand out. Its funny, charming, cheeky, ridiculous, dark, engaging and magical and damn near close to perfect.
Phenomenal use of CGI, set design, location, costume, make up etc. Masterfully choreographed fight scenes, wondrous sound editing and mixing, an eclectic but surprisingly fitting original score, make this movie so completely awe inspiring I struggled to speak when it finished.
The script is impeccable and delivered skillfully by the cast, with comedic exchanges in that sing song manner that GR has had us become accustomed to over the years and the menacing monologues and threats carried out in that hyper masculine, cocky, self aware wide boy, way that apparently works whether you are a cockney gangster or a 5th century henchman.
GR used every trick at his disposal in terms of camera work, including a bit of body cam during a chase scene which I thought was a really quirky touch - so many of these sweeping epic historical stories we see are shot so traditionally, they put you to sleep but we get treated to everything imaginable here, including some beautiful isolated sound, slo-mo sequences that will make your skin tingle.
Performance wise, everyone did a good solid job, Charlie Hunnam is basically Jax Teller on a horse, but it worked so well. Anyone who knows his face the way I do will just see Jax written all over it at certain points but it doesn't matter in the slightest. He is also really lean and ripped to shit - he's nearly 40 for fuck sake!!! You can really see the blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul he put into this. What a hero. His natural swagger and charm make him so endearing, its gorgeous. He was the perfect choice. He actually uttered the words 'My Lucy?' which made me nearly faint, at which point Baz told me to chill the fuck out. I did no such thing.
Despite Charlie Hunnam being the only husband I would ever consider, he wasn't my favourite thing about it. Shocking I know. Jude Law was a fucking shining beacon of evil bastard. He was absolutely faultless and spearheaded the sinister aesthetic of this film like he was born solely to do so. I cannot pick one single fault in him or his performance.
Another highlight cast wise for me was Neil Maskell. Ever since 'Football Factory' I have been so intrigued by him and his natural talent but he never really got into the mainstream the way he probably should have done - hopefully this will do the trick and he will be more widely seen in the future.
I strangely enjoyed the complete lack of any sort of love story. There was a bit of flirting occasionally but nothing at all resembling the soppy love stories we usually see. A savvy move on GR's part because nothing distracted from the nose bleed inducing action.
There is also a blink and you'll miss it cameo from Guy Ritchie. See if you can spot it.
This is already far too long so I'll just say this - there is a potential deal on the cards for 6 more films and judging by the end of the first one, and how much it made me want to puke with excitement, we are in for one hell of a franchise and I personally cannot bloody wait.
P.S David Beckham is a football player not an actor. Leave him alone.
I don't even know where to start with this. I really don't.
King Arthur: Legend of The Sword, is a 2017 Fantasy film written and directed by our beloved Guy Ritchie, starring Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana, Djimon Honsou and everyone else Guy Ritchie has ever come into contact with.
Everyone who's anyone knows the story of King Arthur and his knights of the round table but does everyone remember what a magical story it really is? (See 'The Sword in The Stone') With wizards and magic and mythical creatures? This film really draws on the origin story and delivers on the magic and myth in a dark and mesmerising way that will have you open mouthed on the edge of your seat.
Principal photography actually took place about 2 years ago! That's how long we have been waiting for this bloody film and thank fuck its not a disappointment.
On that note, I think I will just get my critically minded, bullshit, whiney complaints out of the way first, so I can get to the unashamed gushing about this truly fucking outstanding film.
I can, with my critics head on, see what those miserable bastards at Variety and Rolling Stone are saying when they are ripping this mind blower to shreds, but I couldn't give less of a shit. I Loved it. Like, wanted to watch it again the second it finished, loved it.
Yes, I winced a few times at certain things and Charlie Hunnam's accent, as usual, was bordering on appalling BUT the poor man doesn't even know what his own accent is anymore, lets face it, and everyone else pretty much used their own, no matter where they came from, so whatever, who cares.
At first, it was hard to see the typical Guy Ritchie style, of every aspect of film making, in such an unusual time period but I got over it within minutes. I think our 'Lock Stock' and 'Snatch' infested brains just need that little bit of time to adjust but once you do, you will be enthralled. Completely.
It does go a teeny bit 'Masters of the Universe' on us towards the end but then what film hasn't lately??? I think that may be why we are getting the remake no one asked for.
I refuse to pull on that thread any longer because at a certain point I'm just ruining things for myself and that's stupid.
To put this into some sort of emotional context, my heart was in my throat by the time it finished and I had tears in eyes.
It is visually so beautiful that I could wallpaper my entire house with images from this movie and I probably will.
We all know Guy Ritchie can make the shit out of a film, 'Lock Stock' and 'Snatch' are legendary, he stepped it up a notch with 'Rock N Rolla' (slowdown tinkerbell), took the absolute piss with 'Revolver' which was so overindulgent and full of riddles, it physically hurt me and we saw what he could do with a bigger budget when he blessed us with 'Sherlock Holmes' and 'Man from U.N.C.L.E' but 'King Arthur' is on another level entirely, its just magnificent.
It's seamlessly edited, which is no easy feat with GR's quickfire style of dialogue delivery and incessant use of cut away story telling, but it isn't jarring at all, its all over the bloody place but certainly not to its detriment, it just makes your eyes open wider and your heart beat faster.
The entire film stinks of Guy Ritchie and that's what makes it stand out. Its funny, charming, cheeky, ridiculous, dark, engaging and magical and damn near close to perfect.
Phenomenal use of CGI, set design, location, costume, make up etc. Masterfully choreographed fight scenes, wondrous sound editing and mixing, an eclectic but surprisingly fitting original score, make this movie so completely awe inspiring I struggled to speak when it finished.
The script is impeccable and delivered skillfully by the cast, with comedic exchanges in that sing song manner that GR has had us become accustomed to over the years and the menacing monologues and threats carried out in that hyper masculine, cocky, self aware wide boy, way that apparently works whether you are a cockney gangster or a 5th century henchman.
GR used every trick at his disposal in terms of camera work, including a bit of body cam during a chase scene which I thought was a really quirky touch - so many of these sweeping epic historical stories we see are shot so traditionally, they put you to sleep but we get treated to everything imaginable here, including some beautiful isolated sound, slo-mo sequences that will make your skin tingle.
Performance wise, everyone did a good solid job, Charlie Hunnam is basically Jax Teller on a horse, but it worked so well. Anyone who knows his face the way I do will just see Jax written all over it at certain points but it doesn't matter in the slightest. He is also really lean and ripped to shit - he's nearly 40 for fuck sake!!! You can really see the blood, sweat, tears, heart and soul he put into this. What a hero. His natural swagger and charm make him so endearing, its gorgeous. He was the perfect choice. He actually uttered the words 'My Lucy?' which made me nearly faint, at which point Baz told me to chill the fuck out. I did no such thing.
Despite Charlie Hunnam being the only husband I would ever consider, he wasn't my favourite thing about it. Shocking I know. Jude Law was a fucking shining beacon of evil bastard. He was absolutely faultless and spearheaded the sinister aesthetic of this film like he was born solely to do so. I cannot pick one single fault in him or his performance.
Another highlight cast wise for me was Neil Maskell. Ever since 'Football Factory' I have been so intrigued by him and his natural talent but he never really got into the mainstream the way he probably should have done - hopefully this will do the trick and he will be more widely seen in the future.
I strangely enjoyed the complete lack of any sort of love story. There was a bit of flirting occasionally but nothing at all resembling the soppy love stories we usually see. A savvy move on GR's part because nothing distracted from the nose bleed inducing action.
There is also a blink and you'll miss it cameo from Guy Ritchie. See if you can spot it.
This is already far too long so I'll just say this - there is a potential deal on the cards for 6 more films and judging by the end of the first one, and how much it made me want to puke with excitement, we are in for one hell of a franchise and I personally cannot bloody wait.
P.S David Beckham is a football player not an actor. Leave him alone.